I thought I wanted to do STEM, it was something I never questioned and what I assumed was right. Yet, after one mid-semester crisis, I have come to a quick realization that I don’t want to take more STEM classes. Now to most that would mean changing majors and the fear of not liking your new major, but I can happily say that as part of the Explore Program that means nothing to me. Being undeclared means that next semester my courses will reflect my will to explore non-stem majors.
For some background, I should explain that for the fall semester my schedule consists of all STEM courses. I thought that I may want to major in something like data science or biology, but there was something missing. Sure, the classes were difficult, that was to be expected, but I couldn’t see my future self being happy if I were to continue to pursue those majors. I reflected back to why the me in high school thought she would be “ok” going into STEM and I think that it was a mixture of societal pressure of “Women in STEM” (which I totally support and honestly still may do because I am undecided) and the fact in high school my courses were balanced. Balanced as in I got to take all the science and math courses I wanted, but I also got to experience the humanities, History, Philosophy, and literature. I was well-rounded and enjoyed them all, but it was the fact that I was taking Humanities courses that balanced out the STEM.
It was these thoughts that caused me to spiral and led to my mid-semester crisis. Alone in my room on a Tuesday morning and trying to map out my next four years here at Northeastern, I realized how little I was really interested in going down a path for data science or biology. Rather, the courses for international affairs, history, and Asian Studies interested me beyond compare.
This battle in myself went on for most of the morning till my mom called me asking if I had eaten lunch yet(which she does every day, in the form of call or text). It was in that call that I quickly asked my mom if she cared about what major or field I decided to pursue and she responded to me “It doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as you’re happy.”. I didn’t realize how much it meant to have my mother’s support. She could obviously tell from my voice that something was bothering me and hearing her support me in whatever I was interested, went directly against the stereotype for most Asian mothers. Her support is what made me come to the realization that this was my life, and I can do what I want. The future will still come, I will still graduate, and there is nothing I can do to stop it, so I might be happy while going through life.
