I’m a perfectionist. An over-achiever. A type-A, go-getting, straight A, perfect daughter to my parents. At least, that’s how it looks. In reality, I was permanently stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted, emotionally drained, anxiety ridden and overwhelmed. Coming home felt like a warm hug for me, and for the few weeks-off, life was as blissful as can be. I thought the burnout had finally died down, but with the start of summer classes, volunteer work, driving lessons, and EMT training, I could slowly feel the spiral starting again but for some reason it was more difficult to keep up with the pace of it all, and the main culprit of this was my phone.
I can’t remember a day where I didn’t use social media. Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and Tiktok are my daily, if not hourly, distractions. My screen time hit an all–time high at 14 hours last Wednesday (I honestly don’t know how it got that high…). Over half of my day wasted. I started noticing the overwhelming effects of my phone use throughout the day: the inability to concentrate, be in the moment, enjoy time with my loved ones without constantly checking my phone and scrolling through the feeds, planning what am I going to post next, etc. Most people might just say to put your phone down, but it’s definitely a lot easier than it sounds. I constantly find myself mindlessly reaching for my phone, unable to take my eyes off the screen, and when I do, the cycle repeats a bit after. And so, I decided to take a break from social media. I knew that I couldn’t go cold turkey, so I started off the week by deactivating my Instagram, which was my most used app. I’ve been on and off Instagram these past few months, but I had decided that I couldn’t afford to fall back into my bad habits with my packed schedule. I had logged out of all my accounts, and deleted the app off my phone, and to be honest, it was liberating. I was so invested in everyone else’s lives and in a way, it distanced myself from my own.
The first few days weren’t as hard as I was expecting. One of the things I noticed though, is how I always reach for my phone in the morning. Normally, I would spend at least 30 minutes in bed scrolling endlessly, and the occasional Tik-Tok binge still does occur, but I have been starting my days earlier and earlier as the days go on. I’m honestly really glad I made this decision. Not going to lie, the burnt–out feeling is still there, but it’s definitely easing up a bit, since I’m more productive with my time now. The rest of my ‘social media detox’ is still in process, and I have no clue where this it’ll all end, but this is progress!!
