Sometime last year, I watched a tiktok that said people who tend to sleep late do it because they feel like they have no control over their lives. I guess I had no control since middle school :).
I like the idea of being alone with no-one to bother me. When it’s day, it feels as though there is an expectation for me to be a normal student/person. Wake up, go to class, homework and study, go home then sleep. Realistically, it’s not much if I manage my time well but sometimes it’s just hard to motivate myself. I have no control over when or how I get motivated. Even if I try to force myself to be responsible by making a to-do list and planning out my entire day on google calendar, there is so much that can go wrong. I’ll get stuck on a problem for 3 hours, take a nap by accident, get distracted by YouTube for too long. It’s not even a day or night thing but I think I’m better at managing these at night. ‘
I know some people make use of their
My daily thinking process:
I know what I should do, but do I want to do it? No.
Will I get stressed if I procrastinate? Yes.
Will I still procrastinate? Yeah…
Then comes 12 am and I realize I got no work done. And I’m stressed to the point that I feel like working. I put on some sad music, prepare all my homework material, and work.
I think I have yet to figure out the right balance between my social life, school, and time for myself. I do give myself credit for how much I’ve grown throughout college. I don’t know when I’ll get used to adulting but I don’t think it’s anytime soon. Growing up is hard. 🙂
