Surgery was a wild ride. The nurses inserted the cold plastic IV into my dehydrated veins, trying to find the most plumpy and bloody spot they could inject. The needle pierced through my soft skin and I tried to not look, but the pain and cold shock from knowing the needle was in there scared me. For a 90 degree August morning, I felt an extreme chill after the IV was placed inside my body. I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life. I just chilled on the bed before surgery with a plastic tube shipped through the veiny walls of my skinny, skeletal shaped body.
The moment that anesthesia kicked in, I was out in an instant. Suddenly, I woke up in a pool of sweat and a bladder filled to the brim. Scratch the IV being the most uncomfortable feeling in my life. It was the burden of waste that built up in my body in addition to the sticky, salty, and wet droplets that ran down my forehead. I saw my nauseous and fatigue face in the hospital mirror. I looked like a chipmunk. My cheeks were swollen and bloody and my face was wet from the sweat. Everything became so numb that I could not feel anyone there in the hospital room.
I was discharged the following day, but the feeling that I could not chew for the next 7 weeks was a nightmare. Seeing my family bring home the spicy aroma of Popeyes chicken and the buttery fragrance of the fluffy biscuits for dinner was a mockery to me. I was forced to eat soups and mashed potatoes while my family gets to enjoy a 3 Michelin star meal. Kind of.
Anyways, I gave up with the soups and potatoes after the first week. The amount of TikTok videos that showcased cooking and baking made me have the urges to eat. I proceeded to cut up all of my foods and sucked and swallowed every tiny piece that my throat can take instead of resorting to mashed potatoes and broths. If its pizza, then I shred every little cheese and pepperoni, but I leave the crust. If its a cinnamon roll, then I use the microwave the pastry to the point of fluffy softness and spoon that into my mouth. If my mom made pho for the week, I would cut the noodles into spoonfuls and slurp all the broth. I simply adapted to my circumstances.
Before my surgery, however, I was always reluctant on eating. I took advantage of the food that I had at home and would usually eat only one meal a day. My family would berate me for being too skinny and scrawny. From the moment that I started my first semester at Northeastern to September of 2020, I had lost 25 pounds. This led me to a state of underweight, which was not good for my growth.
Surgery may have brought some inconveniences and pain, but my recovery made me understand the journey that I must take to ensure that I am at my happiest in life. Maybe the most uncomfortable moment in my life is leading myself to a path that will upset the people I love. Anyways, if you want to see the before and after pictures of my chipmunk face, just ask!
