Japan VS America

As I’ve grown up, how I feel about Japan has changed. From kindergarten to 8th grade, I attended school in Japan for three months during the summer. My mother had wanted my sister and me to experience culture and become fluent in Japanese. Despite being a single mom with no child support and a low-income job, she always secured tickets for our yearly trip.

When I was a kid…

Whenever people asked me about my ethnicity or time in Japan, the second question was, “Do you like Japan or America more?” Until 6th grade, I always replied with a bright smile, “Japan, of course!” And I had plenty of reason to do so! While I mostly ate processed school lunches, free hand-outs from the local survival center, and easy boxed meals I cooked for myself in the US (my mother usually came home past 8 p.m.), I enjoyed my grandmother’s delicious home-cooked meals in Japan. Japanese school lunches always surpassed my expectations with endless rotations of warm, nutritious, delectable meals. 

All the things to love: 

Moreover, I loved my Grandparent’s home in Japan, where I could sleep on a feather-soft futon mattress, take hot baths where the water reached my neck, and enjoy the endless collection of Japanese snacks my grandmother kept at hand. But believe it or not, my favorite part about Japan was school. Japanese schools challenged me in ways American schools never had. The teachers were stricter and expected more from me, but also beamed with pride when I got a good score on the kanji test the first week back. My band club sempai made me stay at school until I perfected a song on the drums – well past sunset – but the pleasure I felt at completion was something I had never experienced before. Even in gym class, it felt as though students held themselves to a higher standard. While gym class in the US consisted of half-hearted games of dodgeball and jump-roping, in Japan, we learned to perform J-pop dances as a group and perform them for our parents on field day. T

Summers in Japan were also great because of the endless fun events. My school hosted yearly overnight camps with pool parties, Japanese curry, shaved ice, and everyone’s favorite: the haunted house. Teachers even dressed up as J-pop idols to get a kick out of students. Outside school, the town held dance festivals and opened countless small stores with games, snacks, and more. I realized that in Japan, I came home exhausted every day but much more fulfilled. Japan forced me to challenge my limits and go beyond my comfort zone. Life felt vibrant and full of color. 

But my outlook slowly began to change as I entered my teenage years.

I began to notice the side of Japan that would ensure it would always be my favorite place to visit but never my home. In 8th grade, a boy in my band club threw a tambourine at my head and told me to return to America because I had been slacking off with my practice. It left a bruise and a cut so deep that I still have a scar. The hierarchy of Japanese school systems and clubs stopped me from telling anyone. Even if I had, I would have been reprimanded for missing one practice than him for physically harming me. Another month, girls commented about my body, which had more curves than the average Japanese physique. As I was already struggling with small Japanese clothing and uniform sizes, the comments cut deep and led to years of eating issues. My brown skin also led some store clerks to follow me while shopping. 

And that’s not all…

In addition, I noticed more common societal issues. Japan is very collectivist, and people look down on anyone who dresses or speaks differently is looked down upon. While I have developed enough confidence and self-love not to let it bother me, the judgment I received impacted me significantly back in my teen years. Whether it was my curls, my body, my outlook on life, or my skin, something seemed always vulnerable to criticism. Perhaps people had only seen me as a tan, adorable child in my early years. But after middle school, I was ‘other’. Japanese people also dislike getting involved in other people’s business. This sounds good initially, but it also means they will usually not help strangers in a severe situation. For example, one day, I encountered a young man bleeding from his head in the subway. People walked past him without a blink of an eye. I still think about how long we had been there until I called the police and got him to the hospital. Moreover, a common issue is the common occurrence of sexual assault on the train. Even if the train is packed, bystanders will do nothing. 

Many of these things can also happen in the US, but in the US:

• People are less afraid of interfering in scary situations.
• The population is so diverse that no one is made to feel like an outcast. There are various fashion tastes, ethnicities, body types, religions, etc. You can find at least one person like you in major cities.
• People WANT to stand out. Creativity and unique characteristics are praised. 
• Yes, there is racism, but there is AWARENESS of racism and systems in place to combat it. 
• Most schools take physical assault seriously. 
• Mental health is a safe topic to discuss. 

I still love Japan, but for people of color and people with larger bodies, it can be a difficult place to live. Of course, the issue is less prominent in tourist cities like Tokyo, Osaka, and Kyoto. Furthermore, Japanese people are more welcoming to tourists than foreigners who live there for long periods. I don’t mean to scare people from visiting the beautiful country I call my second home. But the harsh reality is that every country has its faults. Japan is not just the anime, nature, and food heaven that foreigners imagine. It is a complex, homogeneous, strict society with just as many faults as the US. Sometimes, going abroad can make you appreciate aspects of your home country you always took for granted. Take time to appreciate some parts of your home country today! xoxo

Joy

PS: Answering the weekly question: My favorite hobbies outside of academia are:

• Taking long walks while listening to scary thrillers that make my heart go BOOM
• Lighting a pumpkin or vanilla-scented candle and painting my nails 
• Reading thrillers, mysteries, fantasy, or dystopian romance books
• Visiting Barnes & Noble with someone I love and reading for hours while snacking on a pastry from the cafe
• Decorating my room for any holiday
• Making gifts for my loved ones
• Stuffing my face with cottage cheese while taking Buzzfeed quizzes
• Going to Sephora just to sample every single perfume at the store