For the past 7(?) weeks of college, I’ve continuously been on autopilot. Even though every new week feels like a long and hectic one, the weeks continue to fly by. I realized this as my professor was talking about our upcoming exam- she said it was on two weeks from now, on NOVEMBER 1ST. How is November already creeping up on us?! I’ve had at least one exam every week and thus my mind has been on autopilot. Every day is nearly the same routine of going to class, doing work, cooking meals, going to the gym, and sleeping. And of course, studying. That’s nursing school for you. I’ve been on autopilot mode so much that I’ve forgotten how to take a step back from my work, be present in the day/time of the week, and enjoy what’s happening around me.
This weekend, I want to enjoy the fact that I’m in Boston. I want to enjoy being at Northeastern and being with my friends. I will only be able to do that for so long before I need to continue my studies but I want to turn off my autopilot mode for a moment and enjoy being mentally present. I’ve been dissociating a lot more recently and it’s been a little detrimental to my character. Thus, I need to breathe and try to remember where I am because I know for a fact that the autopilot mode is what is leading to my episodes of dissociation.
