Before the Storm

*This is a journal entry of all the emotions I’m feeling right now. It’s really just to read back on years from now (because I know my life will definitely change after all of this). Sorry if it’s all over the place*

November 2, 2020. 7:25PM. Today is the day before one of the most important elections in history- and I’m terrified. 24 hours from now, we’ll be receiving news about the next president of the United States; and whether my rights as a womxn of color will be potentially stripped away from me. Whether it be Biden or Trump, mayhem will unravel. I know for a fact that I will be bawling at my TV screen- telling all my friends that I love them and will continue to fight for them. All over TikTok and Instagram are videos of businesses boarding up before the results come out- anxiously anticipating the unrest that we’ll see. I was hesitant to book my appointment at Marino because they only had later times and I didn’t want to be caught in the middle of the potential violence while walking back to my dorm room. Luckily my friend Randy is coming with me. I’ll feel a lot safer at least.

I’d like to take note on how comfortable I feel in my skin right now- as a heterosexual cis-gendered Buddhist Asian womxn. Besides the fear of getting harassed on the street because of Trump’s xenophobic sentiments or being told to “go back to my country” or having ignorant stereotypes thrown my way, I’m comfortable being Asian. Kind of.

As for being a cis-gendered womxn, I’m okay. I have the ability to go to Planned Parenthood if I need to and to go to CVS to pick up my birth control pills. In the back of my mind though, I’m terrified about what would happen if these rights are taken away from womxn. The fact that I have to wait for the presidential election to see if I should switch to a long-term birth control is sickening. It’s unfair that my reproductive rights are in the hands of two old white men (and one of the most vile people on this Earth: Amy Coney Barrett). So yeah, I’m not too comfortable with being a womxn during this time.

As for being heterosexual, I’m extremely privileged. My kind of love isn’t seen as illegal; there’s no law that threatens the legality of heterosexual marriage. I fear for my LGBTQIA+ friends who’s simple right to marriage is at stake during this election; my heart aches for them.

And finally, I’m not seen as a threat for my religion. There’s no ban on “Buddhist countries” from our atrocious islamphobic president. One of my best friends is Muslim and I can only imagine the fear that her and her family experience every. Single. Day.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I just thought it’d be interesting to share my candid thoughts prior to one of the most momentous elections in history. In case you couldn’t tell already, I hate Donald Trump with my entire existence as well as an entire side of America right now. So yeah….go vote. I’m exhausted. It’s hard to focus on school and getting things done right now. To those whose rights are at stake like mine, I’m so sorry. Hang in there. We’ll get through this.