This is my second-to-last semester here @ NU; and honestly, I feel even more burnt out than when I started.
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I might get a pass as a prime COVID University™ student, but nowadays after having experienced everything besides actual college life, I’m finding myself exhausted trying. Campus is busier than my friends and I have ever seen in our short time here, and my social anxiety definitely isn’t thriving because of it! Regardless of these new stressors though, I do acknowledge that I’m making a more conscious effort to be a part of campus communities, including different Asian/Asian-American orgs like the AAC and AASIA, which has helped work on my anxiety bit by bit. Any progress is still progress, and while it can be suffocating at times I’m happy I am actively working on it.
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Another struggle for me has been balance, as it is with every other student and person in the world. Screen time, sleep, work, school, job search, hobbies, everything kind of melds into a weird amalgamation that is inconsistent still even after 6+ jobs and K-12 + most of university. A recent revelation had me spiraling and questioning what I really use my time and life for; a loaded question for sure, but after recognizing, acknowledging, and giving myself time to process allows me to direct my personal fuel in what I love even if my day is full of other frustrations or fatigue. Life has so much more to offer, far beyond this little bubble I formed and my “Little Person” daily routine.
Moving away for work earlier this year and reframing my view on life made a huge difference that I’ve been implementing now that I’ve moved on and continue to seek better things. Dedicating more of my energy on my art, my favorite music, my close friends, and any little pockets of happiness in my day adds so much more value than hyperfixation on what every person I encounter thinks of me or things I can’t control in my academic/personal life. Being able to remove myself from these self-inflicted situations, as simple as it sounds, has improved my quality of life significantly. Though it’s a continuous journey, I’ve come a long way to start life on my terms over letting other people/factors control me. Hopefully it sticks!
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