My all-time favorite TED Talk is called “The Happy Secret to Better Work” by Shawn Anchor. It sat at the
bottom of a long list of assignments my AP Psychology class was required to complete by the end of
summer. As an incoming high school senior, you would assume I was well aware of these assignments as
early as June. Nevertheless, on a night in August, two weeks before classes started, I frantically started
psych readings, watched TED talks, and found something that stuck.
On top of Anchor’s witty humor and heartwarming story of his sister “Amy the Unicorn,” he makes a
point that I keep close to my heart to this day: If you want to be happy, you have to be happy now.
Happiness is not a goal that one works to reach. Many of us are taught under the belief that “if I work
harder than I’ll be successful. And if I’m more successful, I’ll be happier” (Anchor). Thus, we associate
happiness with the result of reaching marks of success in life: graduation, getting a job promotion, being
in a relationship, buying a home. Not only does this prompt a mindset that avoids happiness in the
present (How can I be happy if I haven’t reached my goal yet?) but once you reach that goal, it will most
likely not live up to your expectations. Anchor points out that once you reach a goal, a new one appears.
The benchmark for happiness is constantly moving. After surveying Harvard University students, he
noticed that the surge of happiness felt after getting into a prestigious university quickly dissipated as
they focused on the stress of maintaining high grades.
To find happiness, look in the present. This ultimately takes a shift in mindset; “90% of your long-term
happiness is predicted not by the external world, but by the way your brain processes the world”
(Anchor). A healthier mindset implies finding happiness through delights in your everyday life rather
than what you need to do or have. This prompts one to feel more grateful for what they already have.
Believe it or not, feeling happy today will help you reach those marks of success we discussed easier.
Anchor asserts that “your brain at positive is 31% more productive than your brain at negative, neutral,
or stressed.”
In the midst of all this happiness talk, I occasionally question: Is it selfish to pay so much attention to my
own happiness? It is easy to dismiss this effort when there are so many issues in society that deserve
attention, and there are so many people in our personal circles to care about. Over quarantine, I reread
The Happiness Project by Gretchin Rubin, a memoir that covers the author’s year long personal project
dedicated to improving her happiness within realistic means (not everyone can drop their
responsibilities and find happiness in nature like in the movies!). She disputes this doubt with the fact
that being more happy and grateful gives you more energy to be a better friend, co-worker, partner, and
daughter. By taking care of your own happiness, you are positively affecting the happiness of the people
around you.
Of course, rewiring my mind to “scan the world for the positive” against a sea of bad news, sprinkled
with an emphasis on achievement and comparisons, did not always feel natural. Like everything, it took
practice. Over the summer, a close friend of mine came up with the idea of texting each other three
joys per day. We could be as specific about our findings as we wanted, and we weren’t expected to send
them at a specific time. I definitely recommend trying this with someone you are close to! It was a great
way to practice gratitude and keep in touch with someone I couldn’t see over quarantine. Since my
senior year of high school, I often journaled about positive parts of my day, and I kept an ongoing list
titled “Reasons to be happy (every little thing)” in the notes section of my phone. I am happy to say that
these have been working out for me.
Here were some of my daily delights:
August 17-
- The sound of rain.
- I ate a pineapple bun from a cantonese bakery– I love their fluffy texture so much.
- I went shopping with my family and my dog.
August 21-
- I went hiking with my family.
- When we got to the top, we ate sandwiches and enjoyed the view.
- I made chives dumplings with my mom for the first time.
Yesterday-
- I visited the rose garden with my roommates.
- The weather has been so nice– bright but a little chilly.
- I’m in a good place with all my work. I accomplished everything on my to-do list.
