How Do I Make Time Stop

A Poem by Maya Cacanindin:

When I get out of a class early,

I calculate how many tasks I can get done.

An unexpected hour and a half

Equals two tasks checked off my planner.

The never-ending to-do list

has no place for activities by myself.

Why do I spend so much time with other people?

You only let yourself relax when you’re with someone else. Those are your scheduled breaks. Those are also productive because you’re working towards bettering important friendships. 

Why can’t I be a friend to myself? Why can’t I let myself relax by myself?

Why would you sit for three hours to watch a movie and paint a picture if that could be three hours applying to co-ops that you are already behind on. You should write the cover letters for positions you put in your favorites and stored in the back of your mind.

If I could stop time, I would lie down.

I would make banana pancakes and eat them outside with a friend.

I would paint until I covered my bedroom walls with art.

I would learn to play more songs on the piano.

No, you would wish you had something productive to do.

You would think of a business idea that might help you get ahead in your career

Or help you pay off college. And you would beat yourself up for not starting that business.

That is a good point.

How do I just be okay– without thinking about everything I need to get done, or improve, or fix, or change?

You are okay. You have a loving family, and friends that make you smile wider than you ever thought you could. You are in good health with a roof over your head and food on the table. You are studying at a reputable university. Think about where you were a year ago. You are doing so much better. What are you even talking about?

I’m not sure.