One of the things I began to think about after I came to college were my English skills. I was born in the States but moved to Korea around 5 (except for when I was in Georgia for all of 5th grade) and had only attended up until Kindergarten in the States. I picked up both languages at the same time, but definitely let English slip away from my tongue as my eyes and ears began to slowly, and then entirely, get filled with Korean.
I think that one year when I was in Georgia was the most quietest and introverted I have ever been (and will ever be) throughout the rest of my life. Objectively, I’m someone who loves talking and will incorporate all kinds of conversations and interactions into my life. The things I talk about and the people I talk to are what shape me; I value them very much. Back then, my verbal communication skills did not lack to the point where I could not communicate my thoughts, but I definitely struggled with grammar, syntax, and just making sure what I said made sense. Looking back, I don’t even think it was about my actual English skills but moreso my confidence. I didn’t like that my pronounciation stood out and people could tell I was not from the States.
Upon coming back to Korea, I spent several years recording myself speaking in English and listening to it on repeat in order to figure out where my pronunciation was lacking. With the help of my older sister, I practiced writing essays and expanding on my vocabulary. As someone who isn’t really big on books, I think having to read a lot to get better in this area was one of the toughest part for me. But with this, I’m here today so I’m glad it helped.
Looking back, I would still put in the same effort and time to improve my English skills if I could put myself in that situation again. But at that time, I wish I had, like I do now, a different perspective on the accent that would surface every time I spoke in English. It took me quite some time, but I now see the beauty and authenticity in having an imperfect pronunciation. I believe an accent is a way to show that you have put in the effort to deviate from your comfort zone to learn and speak this other language. You may not sound exactly like those native to it, but it shows that you’ve branched outside your mother tongue to learn this complex language.
